Than it happened! This game changed me life. In 2012 I sat down to play a lil video game called Persona 4 Golden on the PlayStation Vita. Little did I realise, but this was the start of an epic journey. The game was about facing and accepting your shadow and true self, and over 100 hours later, the game started to become real. Having fallen in love with the Persona 4 characters, I was hit with this uncontrollable and irrational desire to draw them. Thus Art plopped into my life from nowhere, and the real journal began …
2012 PERSONA 4 CHANGES EVERYTHING
…I picked up the book Keys to Drawing by Bert Dodson, and soon started to feel the power of art. Art helped me go deep inside myself to do the very things the characters in the Persona 4 video game had been doing. I started facing my shadow, my fears, and my true self. Soon after I found the book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr Joe Dispenza, which introduced me to the world of Meditation and BANG I now had the magic ingredients I lacked in 2004 … Meditation and Art. These two tings together would Set me Free.
2013 ART SETS ME FREE
2014 was a power year, not only did I quit a job of 12 years, and start going to Art Class, but 10 years after having first told my Mum and Sister I was transgender, I finally found the courage to come out to the world via this website, which at the time was called KevsArt.com :)
2014 GIFT FROM THE UNIVERSE
The gift that helped me was my therapist at The Laurels Gender Identity Clinic. She was perfect. This photo is from 2016 when I finally started going to the sessions as me, but right from the off we connected. I owe everything to her. A true gift from the Universe.
Social Anxiety was still a big issue in my life, and the thought of going to Art Class scared the crap out of me, but the desire to get better at Art was stronger than the fear, and in 2014 I found the courage to attend a local art class. So glad I did. It gave me confidence, and resulted in me making connections that would lead to my art being in art exhibitions and galleries. Ironically, Art Class not only helped me level up my Art Skills, but my Social Skills too, which would later help me in my transition.
2015 BY ARTIST KEVIN PRESTON
This one gets its own entry on the time line, as it’s my most proudest moment so far. Diagnosed with dyslexia as a child, and having been a disruptive lil sh*t at school lol, in 2015, at the age of 35, I studied my nuts (or titt*es) off and managed to achieve an A in GCSE English. I even went up on stage in front of loads of people to be awarded On Course South Wests Learner of the Year. All thanks to my lovely teacher Jemma, who you can see smiling in the photo :)
2015 IT’S NEVER TOO LATE
Like my Graduation photo from 2012, I hate the way I look in this one, but I love the photo so much because look … I’m getting a hug from one of my Inspirational Artists DestinyBlue! Inside I was as happy as the smile on DestinyBlue’s face, but the social anxiety just wouldn’t let me relax :( This face of fear is what happens when social anxiety takes hold, but, least I faced the fear and actually spoke to her :) She’s super cool beyond words! It’s kind of funny though, I’m dressed as Superman, but look like I’m sh*tting meself lol
2015 IT’S DESTINY
No one had ever seen me as Sophie before, that was until 2015 when my Niece came round with all of her makeup supplies and gave me a make over. I was so excited, but so scared that I almost didn’t do it, but again, I’m so glad I did because I feel this was an important day; I started to believe I could actually be myself around people.
2015 THE MAKEOVER
Another powerful moment. Whereas in 2004 I stepped outside during the day and snapped one lil photo, before sprinting back inside in case anyone saw me. This time, 12 years later, I got dressed up and made my way to the local park. I sat there for a few hours, sketching and drawing the trees, just being myself as people walked past. I was nervous, but so proud. After this I started pushing myself out of my comfort zone more and more, doing lil baby steps like going for long walks, riding the bus, and even going shopping in town for clothes and makeup. To think, it all started with this baby step of facing the fear by stepping out of my front door.
2016 I’M OUTSIDE AGAIN
Sometimes the worst tings in life, end up being the best tings. In 2017 I was out for a walk to the local wig shop, when this group of lads on mopeds pulled up alongside beeping their horns. In the middle of the busy street they started shouting abuse, pointing and laughing, shouting “It’s a man”. When I got home I burst into tears and was hit with Suicidal thoughts that got so intense, they actually became positive … I found myself saying sod it. Sod it! I’m going out without any wigs on. That’s when the most beautiful ting happened. I went for a wigless walk in a lil dress, not hiding anything anymore, instead showing off my bald patches and facial hair. That’s when this girl walked past and gave me the warmest smile imaginable. I knew in that moment, I was doing the right ting.
2017 THIS IS ME
In 2016 I changed the name of this website to SophieLawson.com, and in 2017 I legally changed my name by deed poll. I changed my name to Sophie, but continued to live as Kevin for about another 8 months. Super weird I suppose, but this was the only way I could do it. I wanted to start living as Sophie but the fear was too strong, so I thought. If I change my name to Sophie but continue to live as Kevin, I’ll be forced into transitioning whether I like it or not lol It worked you know. In 2018 I finally threw all my male clothes away and started going to work as me. Woohoo!
2017 I’M SOPHIE LAWSON
One of the most amazing moments of my life so far was in 2017, when I posed for a painting with professional Artist Jo Beer. When my life flashes before my eyes in those final moments, I know I’ll be reliving this experience with a big smile on my face :) What an honour … thank you Jo Beer.
2017 I’M A PAINTING
Having exhibited my work on a number of occasions as Kevin, it was now time to show up as Sophie lol Again, sh*t meself, but I did it. I did it my way too, wearing a sexy lil blue dress :) My Sister, Niece and Nephew even came to the opening night event, which was the first time my Sister saw me as me :)
2018 BY ARTIST SOPHIE LAWSON
In 2018 I started the So Free Art Podcast (now Sophie’s Art Podcast). It was something I kept getting told to do by the Universe for years, but I was just too scared. At the start of 2018 I said sod it, lets do it and see what happens. It’s been amazing. Since starting this lil podcast I’ve gained so much confidence, learnt a ton, and even started posting videos on YouTube. One of the best tings I ever did.
2018 A lil PODCAST ABOUT THE ART & TINGS
Here I am busy at work cleaning, in the glamorous public toilets setting … this was the first week of me being myself at work. I was sh*tting meself again, especially as this job was a super blokey bloke environment, but I did it. I again turned it into an experiment, and said, lets try it and see what happens. Once I did it, I thought, why didn’t I do this sooner?
2018 I AM MYSELF AT WORK
And that’s that. In 2020 I sort of transitioned I guess. Thanks to Art, Meditation, Lucid Dreaming, and all the lil baby step facing fear experiments, I could finally walk around Nature as me, posing for photos with people walking around. Social Anxiety continues to bubble about, and I’ve still got many fears to overcome, but I’m no longer hiding from the world. It’s like living a real dream, and it’s all thanks to Art. Art Set Me So Free.
2020 AT ONE WITH NATURE
